It doesn’t matter how this path found you.

You may have entered oblivious or unprepared, but this journey will demand intention. If only to not fight with your siblings. And the best intentions need the support of a compassionate stance (including compassion for yourself).

(BTW: No matter how you respond, it will be ok.)

It doesn’t matter what your relationship is like.

You may have successfully set a fixed position separate from your parents. Or, they may be long integrated into your life with established ways of interacting with them, managing each other’s expectations, and loving them. Or Not. Yet, this journey can open your heart and surprise you.

It doesn’t matter how well you have been coping.

You may be distracted by your life and holding some fine balance. You may be drawn to take on and solve the difficult problems. Or, you feel completely lost and powerless. Regardless, some event is definitely going to get your attention and you will be pulled into an overwhelming moment -whether you are ready or not.

It’s ok. Take a breath.

When it happens, this is the way through:

“Take a breath, know your intention, Be now, Open your Heart, Surrender to the Moment.”

Take a breath. As you exhale:

Know your intention – whether it be:

To be responsible

To calm, aid, and keep safe

To ensure support and improve quality of life

Or, simply to witness

Take a breath. As you exhale:

Be Now! And open to not knowing:

What may (or may not) be said

How it will be said

How it feels to hear it

What is being called

What response might arise in you

Take a breath. As you exhale:

Open your Heart. Bring compassion forth

For the imperfect individual to whom you listen

For yourself, an imperfect listener

To hear, to listen, to take in, to absorb

To feel as much and as deep as you can

Take a breath. As you exhale:

Surrender to the moment

Free yourself from judgment and

Accept your helplessness to prevent, mitigate, or solve the problem at hand

Feel what you feel without attachment

Know your Presence has strength, even in helplessness

Take a Breath, Know your Intention, Be Now, Open your Heart, Surrender to the Moment.

Don’t worry about getting it right. Parent Care will give you plenty of opportunity to;

Practice breathing

Practice Being Now

Practice Opening your heart

Practice Surrender

Actually, it demands it.


© 2018 Rob Fellows, Parent Care Consulting


Rob Fellows is a member of Amava and the principal consultant at Parent Care Consulting where he provides education, guidance, and coaching about parent care for the benefit of the elder’s children, spouses, and family. 


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